with each injury I get a little better at the acceptance phase

11. February 2015 · 2 comments · Categories: injury, Uncategorized · Tags: , , , ,

Hi there!

Hope you are all in a relatively good state of mind. My state of mind is a little bit all over the place today.

I went to the primary care doctor yesterday to address the shoulder that I hurt while snowmobiling last weekend. I probably should have just gone a week ago but you know me….always expecting my injuries to heal on their own in “a couple of days”.

paperwork

Where is the copy and paste button?

I was forced to fill out the same paperwork because now it’s 2015. I don’t understand this process. I have the same insurance, same policy ID, same contact info etc. Why can’t they just put a big 2015 at the top of my 2014 paperwork? I also had to fill out a questionnaire to show how much of a risk I am at being sick I suppose.

patient questionnaire

Yes I wear my seatbelt.

They asked me if I wear my seatbelt twice! LOL! Someone didn’t proofread these before they were printed. The reason this is funny is because up until a few years ago I never wore my seatbelt! I actually gladly paid a ticket once for being pulled over and not wearing it. I hate seatbelts. They irritate my neck and make me feel trapped in the way someone with claustraphobia might feel. But after being yelled at by family and friends I finally worked on it, and am proud to say I wear it now! #YAY

So the doc (who I don’t really trust because he was sure I had a stress fracture last May when it turned out to be tendonitis) said he’s pretty sure I tore a tendon in the rotator cuff. He’s referring me to a shoulder specialist (orthopedist). I actually got my referral same day and will be calling that shoulder doc this morning to try and get an appointment ASAP. In the meantime, it’s become a lot more painful. I am trying to keep the arm as still as possible but even typing on the keyboard and lifting a fork to my mouth (which are two very non-negotiable things in my life!) hurt.

Silver lining to all this is that I’m most likely not going to have runner’s knee by the time I get back to running….I was planning to try running again in 2 weeks but I have no idea once I get the official diagnosis on my shoulder what that will mean…Will I be told I can’t run for an arm injury? Hmmm….

And at this point the NJ Marathon will probably become a half-marathon for me since i can’t imagine having enough time to train. Basically I’ll be running into the same situation as the San Francisco Marathon last July, only I’m eerily more accepting of this than I was of the San Francisco Marathon (I ended up running the half very slowly and had a great time anyway). I always do try and find the positive when I’m faced with injury and I do have to say it’s getting easier to accept that running can’t always be the driving force in my life. I hate admitting that but I get this reminder from the universe that my life is full of so much that it’s OK to skip races and running and focus on healing or even just spending more time with the ones I love.

Chester

Chester….all 82 pounds carefully balanced on the armrest.

niece

My beautiful and talented niece. She plays the alto saxophone.

doodle

Fresh from the groomer….makes me love him even more!

snowmobile

Mr. SOTSS….my sweetie!

Speaking of love…

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I thought I’d share a different kind of heart story.

Anna King

#LoveOfaDonor

I’ve been following Anna King’s story over the last 2 years. She was 12 when she was put on the heart transplant list. 6 months ago she finally received a new heart. Now at age 14 she is thriving! She wrote a blog post for Life Is Good and I think it’s a great way to think about love and hearts and all that jazz. Duncan will probably give me a toy from his toy box for Valentine’s Day…subtle hint that Fetch makes him happy.

Duncan

Valentine’s gift = let’s play fetch!

Tee Hee

Tee Hee

Ok…off to make that doctor’s appointment. Have a great day.

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you think its just a silly commercialized holiday?

Are you good at handling setbacks? Injuries? 

 

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And the gatekeeper suspects a stress fracture

13. May 2014 · 8 comments · Categories: injury, labradoodle, Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

I worked from home yesterday to rest my foot and also because I was finally able to make an appointment with my primary care doc (a.k.a. the “gatekeeper”).

Duncan was thrilled that I was home so he could nap confidently

photo 1

 

photo 2

I am just gonna vent for a minute about health insurance and the stinkin’ protocol about having to see your primary care physician before you can go anywhere else. Needless to say had I just taken myself to the emergency room on Saturday it might have cost me a heftier copay but at least I’d already have had my X-ray or whatever and know what I’m dealing with. Instead I got to cry Saturday and Sunday before even getting to make an appointment with my primary care doc (who has no idea how much running means to me and hasn’t seen me since 2012 when I sprained my ankle so he really doesn’t even remember me…..and let’s not get me started on filling out paper work every god damned time I go in there. Really? the information is on the insurance card that you just made a copy of yet I have to fill out a form too? And why do I need to write my name, address, birthday, SS# etc 3 times? Can’t I just write “ditto”? I am the patient, the responsible party and the insured. Sheesh!!!! Good thing I didn’t fracture my hand.) #RantOver

And to add insult to injury I had to get on the scale for the nurse last night too.

the Devil

the Devil

147! That’s a 5 pound weight gain since the marathon 2 weeks ago. At this rate I’ll be featured on the next episode of My 600 Pound Life before my foot is better. #exaggeratingnotexaggerating

And here’s where I’m going with this. I have always struggled with weight/body image issues. Not only does running allow me to get through the “small stuff” but it really helps keep my self-esteem and body image issues in check. I’m so worried that without running I’ll have a major emotional meltdown. It’s already started.

photo 4

they look the same. you’d never know one hurts more.

So the doc agreed it didn’t seem like an ankle sprain because he could twist it all directions without me feeling pain. I explained my theory of tendonitis but he seemed to think that wouldn’t bother the outside of my foot although I disagree. Basically I don’t believe him but he suspects a stress fracture that might have been there for a while and the marathon finally aggravated it. In any event I now have to wait for the referral to be approved by my insurance, then make an appointment with the podiatrist and then see what that reveals which means Brooklyn Half Marathon is not happening for me (only 29,999 runners now). I feel so isolated already. All my friends will be running and I won’t be there. I thought about cheering for them at the finish but I think it’s too soon for me….my head is not in that space. The following week is a 5 miler in Spring Lake NJ (I already received my bib for it too!). Maybe I’ll be able to go down for that one to cheer. Otherwise there will be a big wine and chocolate party at my house and you’re all invited!

I know I’m not the only one sidelined at the moment and I know this isn’t life threatening but I’m just really sad and not sure how I’m going to deal with all this. I had surgery for a non running related issue back in the fall of 2012 and was unable to run or do much of any exercise for 4 weeks and I got through it, so I know I am strong enough to deal with this. I just have to get to the acceptance stage. LOL!

I’ll post more when I know more.

Question: If you could do one thing to cheer me up what would it be? Are you a good patient? Or do you go nuts?

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