Sunday morning I was in the car sipping coffee, singing out loud along with my favorite radio station’s acoustic set which I so rarely get to listen to (I’m one of the few people left on the planet who doesn’t have satellite radio otherwise i’d be listening to the coffee house channel because I’m a sucker for acoustic, singer-songwriter genre music. The doodle was on the front seat (about to be dropped off at my sister in laws) and I was driving to the start of a charity 5k run.

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I felt so at peace and happy. It made me think a lot about the things/people/places that make me feel that way. After my husband died I spent more than a decade seeking out solitude and peace. I found it with a walk in the woods, catching up with a friend over a cup of coffee or a road trip. I loved to drive and would drive all over to meet up with friends for long weekends. And then I found running. Running soothed my soul and gave me peace and comfort. And we can’t post about peace without mentioning Duncan—I come home from work at night and all my stress melts away as we get comfy on the sofa and settle in for the night.

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Anyway that leads me to the second part of this post and brings it back to the 5k I was driving to. I was headed to this charity 5k to run with Mr. SOTSS and his (almost) 10 and (almost) 12 year-old daughters. I was happy to be in such a calm peaceful and joyful mood. I was looking forward to the run not knowing it would be for anything more than just to help Mr. SOTSS out and my own Sweat Out the Small Stuff reasons.

As we lined up at the start I paired up to run with his older daughter and Mr. SOTSS paired up with his little one.

While I am now a year into my relationship with Mr. SOTSS I am still early on in getting to know his girls. Mr S. has been great at knowing when the appropriate time to introduce us was and he continues to know when it makes sense to include me. I know it’s all new for him too and I really commend him on how he’s handled everything so far. Those girls are very lucky. They have a super dedicated mom and a doting dad to start. And then they have lots of other role models in their lives like sports coaches, teachers and extended family. I’ve had some anxiety over how I would be perceived and whether or not the girls would really look for anything more from me other than dad’s friend Sally who does arts and crafts and plays video games with them. But it was during the race that I realized that I could be an additional role model in their lives and instinctually (the way I am with my niece and nephew) I thought about how I could provide value instead of just keeping his daughter company. At one point about halfway during the race his daughter who I was running with was struggling a bit…mainly the heat and humidity were getting to her. Her cheeks were flushed and she was having some trouble trying to stay in control of her breathing. I told her to let me know if she wanted to slow down but she said she was ok. Something made me think she she just might not have felt comfortable enough to tell me if she wanted to slow down so I told her I had friends who ran marathons by doing run/walk intervals. They had a watch that would beep every 4 minutes to let them know to take a walk break. And they would continue running 4 minutes and walking 1 minute for the entire race which helped them recover. I then told her about some strategies I use when there are hills. I would take it easy and walk up the hills knowing it’s easier to go downhill so i could start back running on the downhills. Basically I wanted to give her some food for thought. So as we approached the next hill she asked if we could walk a bit and then when we got to the top of the hill and she could see it was time for the downhill she said “OK, I’m ready to start running again”. I didn’t tell her what to do or how to handle her discomfort yet my information helped her to make decisions. And not only did she complete the race but she was totally in control. She didn’t whine or cry or make a big deal about how hard it was to run in the heat and humidity. She didn’t just decide to walk the rest. She never gave up. She chose what part of the remaining course she’d walk and what part she’d run using signs as markers and making note of the hills. And she sprinted to the finish with all the confidence in the world. (Side note: she also chose to pour water over her head at some of the water stops and we giggled together. I’m sure it felt good and someday I might just have to try that too.)

Both girls did wonderfully and after joining them and their dad for a little post race lunch at their aunt’s house I said goodbye. My original purpose was just to help Mr. SOTSS out and escort one girl so that each girl could run their own race and he didn’t have to try and stay as a group. But it became more than that for me and hopefully for his daughter too.

And I learned a little something from the girls, too. Running is just a part of life. Afterward, drawing contests and selfies with dad and Chester the dog were just as important as the 3.1 mile run they participated in earlier. I want to take that mindset and apply it to my training for the NYC marathon. I want to remind myself that while I will be running a lot for 16 weeks of training, it is just a part of my life. And hopefully I’ll get to be part of those drawing contests and silly selfies too. We can’t take life too seriously or we’ll forget to have fun.

I couldn’t complete this post without a special dedication for an 11-year old who was tragically killed yesterday. Abigail Zukowski was the youngest daughter of a high school friend of mine. While I haven’t seen him in years we had reconnected on Facebook a few years back and today I learned of this unfortunate news. She was crossing the street in the crosswalk and struck by a car. I’m so very saddened for him and his family including their two other daughters.